tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-133153822011-04-21T18:51:38.960-07:00boring-boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01355729598173738821noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13315382.post-1117666434700374782005-06-01T15:26:00.000-07:002005-06-01T15:57:18.580-07:00<div align="right">I left work early today. Just got sick of it. We have a guy at work that has "tried" to kill himself 3 times. I have no pity for his need for attention. Killing yourself is easy. Not the decision to do it, but rather the actual act of doing it. This guy has made 3 attempts. All he is looking for is someone to feel bad for him. I think about killing myself all the time. It would be easy. I don't do it because of what it would do to my brother.</div><div align="right">Depression is a nasty thing. I just re-read the above, and I guess it sounds like I'm a horrible person. I don't think I am, but I'm aware of how my shyness has made me lonely and just a little bitter. I see how the world is supposed to work, and I do my best to at least act like I'm living, but I'm not. That's all it is. An act. I go to work, I go home. I can't approach people I don't know. I literally develop a stutter when I try to talk to women. I don't stutter at any other time. Just around women I don't know. My mind goes completely blank around new people, and if I'm not stuttering, I just stand there, silent. Parties are my biggest nightmare.</div><div align="right">Crap. I'm depression myself with my whining. It's sad that the most open I've been with this is on this stupid blog where I don't have to deal with real people.</div><div align="right">Weight today was 237. Here's a thought: I often think that the reason I stay fat, beside the lazy factor, is that if I did lose the weight, I'd also lose my biggest excuse for being alone. I wouldn't be able to blame it on the fat. It would just be the fact that I'm horrifyingly shy.</div><div align="right">I'll repeat myself: Depression is a nasty thing.</div><div align="right">Crap.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13315382-111766643470037478?l=real40yearoldvirgin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>boring-boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01355729598173738821noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13315382.post-1117576919519136512005-05-31T14:20:00.000-07:002005-05-31T15:01:59.523-07:00Hello, all! All being absolutely nobody, because I doubt anybody will ever see this. As the name of the blog says, I am the original 40 year old virgin. No, the idea for the movie wasn't stolen from me, I just have absolutely no life or any clear idea how to live one. I may as well share my pathetic excuse for a life with anyone who reads this, as I don't actually have any real people to share it with. <br /> First, a little about myself. I am actually 40 years old, and a virgin. I am a short, fat 5' 6" diabetic, having been as high as 266, however the high that I count is 248, because that was what I weighed when my doctor told me she was thinking of puting me on insulin. I, however, got serious about that, being majorly afraid of needles, and within a few months, dropped to a low of 200.5. Now, unfortunately, I am back up to 237.5 as of this morning. <br /> Um, not really sure where to go with this. Perhaps I'll add a daily thought or begin to take suggestions on what I should do with my life each day. We'll see. Bye.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13315382-111757691951913651?l=real40yearoldvirgin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>boring-boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01355729598173738821noreply@blogger.com2